Women and Men speak the same language?


  • Yes = No
  • No = Yes
  • Maybe = No
  • I'm sorry = You'll be sorry
  • We need = I want
  • It's your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now
  • Do what you want = You'll pay for this later
  • We need to talk = I need to complain
  • Sure go ahead = I don't want you to
  • I'm not upset = Of course I'm upset, you moron!
  • You're so manly = You need a shave and you sweat a lot
  • Be romantic, turn out the lights = I have flabby thighs
  • This kitchen is so inconvenient = I want a new house
  • I want new curtains = and carpeting, and furniture, and wallpaper
  • I heard a noise = I noticed you were almost asleep
  • Do you love me? = I'm going to ask for something expensive
  • How much do you love me? = I did something today you're going to hate
  • I'll be ready in a minute = Kick off your shoes and find a good show on tv
  • You have to learn to communicate = Just agree with me
  • Are you listening to me!? = [Too late, you're dead]
  • I'm hungry = I'm hungry
  • I'm sleepy = I'm sleepy
  • I'm tired = I'm tired
  • Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd eventually like to have sex with you
  • Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd eventually like to have sex with you
  • Can I call you sometime? = I'd eventually like to have sex with you
  • May I have this dance? = I'd eventually like to have sex with you
  • Nice dress! = Nice cleavage!
  • You look tense, let me give you a massage = I want to fondle you
  • What's wrong? = What stupid self inflicted psychological trauma is it now?
  • What's wrong? = I guess sex tonight is out of the question
  • I'm bored = Do you want to have sex?
  • I love you = Let's have sex now!
  • I love you, too = Okay, I said it, Now can we have sex
  • Yes, I like the way you cut your hair = I liked it better before
  • Let's talk = I'll impress you by showing you I am a deep guy then maybe sex?
  • Will you marry me? = I want to make it illegal for you to sex with other men
  • I don't think that blouse and that skirt go well together = I'm gay
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