It's nice to be a guy because:

  • Your ass is never a factor in a job interview.
  • Your orgasms are real. Always.
  • Your last name stays put.
  • The garage is all yours.
  • Wedding plans take care of themselves.
  • You can wear a white shirt to a water park.
  • Chocolate is just another snack.
  • Foreplay is optional.
  • You never feel compelled to stop a friend from getting laid.
  • The world is your urinal.
  • Same work ... more pay.
  • Wrinkles add character.
  • Evening Dress $2000; Tux rental $10.
  • People never glance at your chest when you're talking to them.
  • Not liking a person does not preclude having great sex with them.
  • One mood, ALL the damn time.
  • You can go to a public toilet without a support group.
  • You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
  • Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
  • You can quietly watch a game with your buddy for hours without ever thinking "He must be mad at me."
  • You can drop by to see a friend without having to bring a little gift.
  • You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
  • You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
  • The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
  • One wallet and one pair of shoes, one color, all seasons
  • Christmas shopping can be accomplished for 25 relatives on December 24th, in 45 minutes.

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