According to a new survey, women say they feel more comfortable undressing in front of men than in front of other women. They say women are too judgmental, where, of course, men are just grateful. -Jay Leno

See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time. -Robin Williams

Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place. -Billy Crystal

Q: How does a man keep his youth?
A: By giving her money, furs and diamonds.

Q: How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?
A: Rename the mail folder to "instruction manuals".

Q. What does a man consider to be a seven-course meal?
A. A hot dog and a six-pack.

Q. How are men like noodles?
A. They are always in hot water, they lack taste, and they need dough.

Q. How do men define a 50-50 relationship?
A. We cook/they eat; we clean/they dirty; we iron/they wrinkle.

Q. Why is a psychoanalysis a lot quicker for men than for women?
A. When it’s time to go back to his childhood, he’s already there.

Q. Why do men name their penises?
A. Because they want to be on a first-name basis with the one who makes all their decisions.

Q. Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and good-looking?
A. Because they already have boyfriends.

Q. Why is a woman different from a PC?
A. A woman won't accept a 3½" floppy

Q. Why are gingerbread men the best men of all?
A. They are cute. They are sweet. and if they give you any lip, you can bite their heads off.

Q. What's the only way to have your husband remember your anniversary?
A. Get married on his birthday.

Q. What's six inches long, two inches wide, and drives women wild?
A. A chocolate bar.

Q. Why do so few men end up in heaven?
A. They never stop to ask for directions.

A stupid man always tells a woman he understands her. A really stupid one tries to prove it.

One way for a man to save face, is to keep his lower half shut.

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