1. Never do housework. No man ever made love to a woman because the house was spotless.
    2. Remember you are known by the idiot you accompany.
    3. Don't imagine you can change a man - unless he's in diapers.
    4. What do you do if your boyfriend walks out? Shut the door!
    5. So many men - so many reasons not to sleep with any of them.
    6. If they put a man on the moon, they should be able to put them all there.
    7. Tell him you're not his type - you have a pulse.
    8. Never let your man's mind wander. It's too small to be let out alone.
    9. The only reason men are on this planet is because vibrators can't dance or buy drinks.
    10. Go for younger men. You might as well. They never mature anyway.
    11. When he asks you if he's your first, tell him "you might be, you look familiar."
    12. Men are all the same. They just have different faces so you can tell them apart.
    13. Definition of a bachelor: a man who has missed the opportunity to make some woman miserable.
    14. Women don't make fools of men. Most of them are the do-it-yourself type.
    15. The best way to get a man to do something is to suggest they are too old for it.
    16. Love is blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener.
    17. If you want a committed man, look in a mental hospital.
    18. If he asks what sort of books you're interested in, tell him cheque-books.
    19. A man's idea of serious commitment is usually "oh all right, I'll stay the night."
    20. If he asks you if you're faking it tell him no, you're just practicing.
    21. Men are like parking spots.... The good ones are taken and what's left are handicapped.
    22. Sadly, all men are created equal.

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