Crazy Thoughts Part II

Used to be my love gave me chocolate.
Now my love is chocolate.
Sherri Weaver

I STARTED out with nothing....I still have most of it.

When did my wild oats turn to prunes and All Bran?

Lead me not into temptation (I can find the way myself).

I've learned that if you don't want to forget something, stick it in your underwear drawer.

I finally got my head together,
now my body is falling apart.

He who allows himself to be insulted,
deserves to be.
Pierre Corneille

"If you can't be kind, at least be vague."
Judith Martin

No man really becomes a fool until he stops asking questions.
Charles P. Steinmetz

"Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else."
William Rogers

If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving definitely isn't for you.

Never do card tricks for the group you play poker with.

Success always occurs in private, and failure in full view.

If you think nobody cares about you, try missing a couple of payments.

Yesterday my daughter asked me, "Daddy, before you got married to Mommy, who told you how to drive?"

"When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping.
Men invade another country."
Elayne Boosler

God is not dead. He simply refuses to get involved.

Always borrow money from a pessimist;
they don't expect to be paid back.

If we do not discipline ourselves
the world will do it for us.
William Feather

"The road less travelled is great until you need a tow-truck"

Character is like a tree and reputation like its shadow.
The shadow is what we think of it; the tree is the real thing.

Attitudes are contagious...Is yours worth catching?

An optimist sees a glass that is half full,
the pessimist sees one that is half empty,
the existentialist asks if the glass is really there.
Edgar Almeida

Never accept a drink from an urologist.
Erma Bomdeck's father

Murphy's Law:
If you fool around with a thing for very long, you will screw it up.

Equal opportunity means
everyone will have a fair chance at being incompetent.
Laurence J. Peter

Whoever said, "It's not whether you win or lose that counts," probably lost.

What's New | Quotations | Poetry Corner | Poetry Contest | Jokes |
Mystical Path | Web Team | Survey | Sponsors | Bookstore | Search | Sitemap |