Battle of the SEXES
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- What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife? -- 45 lb.
- What's the difference between a boyfriend and a husband? -- 45 min.
- What is it when a man talks nasty to a woman? -- Sexual Harassment
- What is it when a woman talks nasty to a man? -- $3.99 a minute.
- How can you tell if your wife is dead? -- The sex is the same, but the
dishes pile up.
- How can you tell if your husband is dead? -- The sex is the same, but
you get the remote.
- What's a blonde's favorite nursery rhyme? -- Humpme Dumpme.
- What's it called when a woman is paralyzed from the waist down? -- Marriage
- How many men does it take to change a light bulb? -- None, they just
sit there in the dark and complain.
- What's the fastest way to a man's heart? -- Through his chest with a sharp knife.
- What have men and floor tiles got in common? -- If you lay them properly
the first time, you can walk all over them for life.
- Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring and
good-looking? -- Because those men already have boyfriends.
- What is a man's view of safe sex? -- A padded headboard.
- How do men sort their laundry? -- "Filthy" and "Filthy but wearable"
- What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog? -- After a
year, the dog is still excited to see you.
- What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying? -- The
same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.
- What do you call a smart blonde? -- A golden retriever.
- Who is the most popular guy at the nudist colony? -- The guy who can
have a cup of coffee in each hand and still carry a dozen donuts.
- Who is the most popular woman at the nudist colony? -- The woman who ate
the last donut.
- What is the difference between a battery and a woman? -- A battery has a
- A brunette, a blonde and a redhead are all in third grade. Who has the
biggest breasts? -- The blonde, because she's 18.
- Do you know why they call it the Wonder Bra? -- When you take it off you
wonder where the breast went.
- Do you know the punishment for bigamy? -- Two mothers-in-law.
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