Robert Half - ITEMS FOUND ON RESUMES...

1. "I am extremely loyal to my present firm, so please don't let them know of my immediate availability."
2. Qualifications: I am a man filled with passion and integrity, and I can act on short notice. I'm a class act and do not come cheap."
3. "Note: Please don't misconstrue my 14 jobs as 'job-hopping'. I have never quit a job."
4. "Personal: I'm married with 9 children. I don't require prescription drugs."
5. "Marital Status: Often. Children: Various."
6. "Here are my qualifications for you to overlook."
7. "I was proud to win the Gregg Typting Award."
8. "My goal is to be a meteorologist. But since I have no training in meteorology, I suppose I should try stockbrokerage."
9. I procrastinate - especially when the task is unpleasant.